Joke of the day

[sir_huntsalot]

A Newfoundland man living in Toronto decided to visit the
> > > >zoo. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man
> > > >claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that
person's
> > > >age. The Newfie was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain
> > > >terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy, and the
> > > >elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the
> > > >boy. "Oh yes," the boy said.
> > > >
> > > >The Newfie was very loud in not believing that this was
> > > >true. So the man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several
> > > >other people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot, and
the
> > > >people said he was correct.
> > > >
> > > >The Newfie got even louder and more abusive toward the man.
> > > >Finally, the man could take it no longer, and offered to bet the
> > > >Newfie that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age.
> > > >
> > > >The Newfie accepted he wager. The elephant looked very
> > > >closely at the skeptic, then turned around, raised his tail and
> > > >broke wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around
> > > >and stomped his foot twice.
> > > >
> > > >The Newfie stumbled back amazed, and, with a sound of
> > > >disbelief in his voice, cried, "Lard tunderin' bye Jaysus, he's
> > > >right...I'm Farty-two!"
> > > >
> > >
> > >
>



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[Top-pin]

Two hunters went deer hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female deer costume and learned the mating call of a female deer.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the buck, then come out of the costume and shoot the buck. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the deer love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a huge buck came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the buck was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

[Top-pin]

Four friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an ten-point buck.

"Where's Billy Bob?"

"Billy Bob had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Billy Bob laying out there and carried the deer back?"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter "but I figured no one, in their right mind, is going to steal Billy Bob."